I was like… When Mike… My manager called me up and said: “Yo, man, Michael Jackson is mad.” I was like, “So?” You know, because I’d fuck Mike up. Then I found out Michael Jackson was looking for me. T walk up and go, “I heard you did some jokes about me.” “No, you didn’t.” “Maybe I didn’t.” “I’m gonna go beat up the fool that told me them lies.” I’d be at parties, hear he was looking for me, I would just leave. So I figured if he came up to me, I could use the Jedi mind trick on him. T was just here looking for you.” He was walking up to people saying: “I’m gonna whip Eddie Murphy’s ass when I see him.” Then I watched his show, because I didn’t know him, to see what kind of guy he was, and the character on the show ain’t too bright. I would walk at parties and people say: “Yo, man, Mr. He looks like he can whip some ass, right? And I was petrified. He don’t look like, you know, like he can’t fight. He was… And I was scared, because y’all seen Mr. Did y’all see Delirious? In Delirious, I was making fun out of a lot of entertainers too. That’s why I haven’t been on the road the last three years. Every now and then I take a joke too far. Except only I’m getting paid for the motherfucker.
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We filming a movie here tonight and y’all gonna be in this shit. Don’t let the lights and cameras throw y’all. And hello, New York City! Thank you for coming out. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m looking forward to seeing him in that leather suit. “Now it’s snowing!” So the lion said, “Oh, yeah? Well, I can make the stars come out.” And then he kicked him in the ding-ding. “Now there’s thunder!” Then he started doo-dooing. “Now it’s raining!” Then he started farting. And then he started peeing on the lion’s head. The monkey said, “I can make the weather change.” And the lion said, “No, you can’t.” So the monkey started climbing up the tree. Why do they fall in love? Why does the rain fall from up above? Why do fools fall in love? Why do they fall in love? Mama, I got a joke. Why do fools fall in love? Why do birds sing so gay? And lovers await the break of day. Can’t you see the kids are trying to put a show on there? Lester, she ain’t your mama. lt ain’t nothing but the old shuffle-butt. Get down, Lester, you is talking! You move like you’re 21. Show me that little dance y’all be doing. He probably got it in there with the turkey leg and the sweet potato pie. I’m gonna smack one of you now, you hear? Them pants cost $3.98, baby, you hear? See that chocolate cake I bought? The chocolate cake that was on the counter? – Yeah. – Show me that little dance you-all be doing. He mainly focuses on the topics of divorce and relations between the sexes, but also goes into some of the problems he’s encountered because of fame, including offended listeners and fans who continually greet him with his unprintable catch phrases. After achieving fame with Saturday Night Live and Beverly Hills Cop, Eddie Murphy released a film version of one of his live stand-up performances.
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